I only had one request for this particular post, and it just came in a few nights ago. But it's something I struggle with a lot. Like every single day. As most of you know if you've been following along, I have a bunch of experience with break-ups and separations. But truth be told, I have very little experience with letting go. I still talk to almost all of the guys I've dealt with in the past. Not on some "I love you"/"I miss you" type of deal. We've moved on. I have my boys to take care of. But when you share so much of your life, such a big part of yourself with someone, you just can't cut them off.

I just wished one of my exes a happy birthday. He's a Cancer. I can never forget his birthday. Another came to my dad's funeral last November, paid his respects to my family, met my fiance and my son, and carried himself out of there. It wasn't weird. It wasn't disrespectful. It just was. I go to another one of my exes for advice, and to save me from myself sometimes. I'm known to get into many sticky situations. One of my old boyfriends even sent my son gifts when he found out that I was pregnant.

But one is like fire. A no go. Do not touch. And when you have a family and a comfortable life, and especially a little person that you have to shape and mold and prepare for the world, you cannot play with fire. You just cannot afford to get burned anymore. He's caused issues in our relationship in the past, almost ending it a couple of times. This is where I'm drawing my tips from. This situation has taught me how to let go, for the good of everybody. And truth be told: it's freaking hard!! It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life.

So here are the tips and tools that I use to get myself through the letting go process every day.

• Practice self control.
• You're going to want to call them. Your gut is going to want to text them. You're going to want to hear their voice or even check if they still give a damn about you. Don't do it. Put the phone down. Walk away from the Facebook page. Leave their Instagram alone. Be in control of your own actions. And if they text you? Delete. That simple. Don't fall back in and allow that person to get back into your head. Just like most things, getting started is always the hardest part. But you can do it. Just stop. Think. Breath. Be rational. Because if you continue to entertain the nonsense, they will continue to bring it to you. Be strong.
• If You're Done, Be Done. Don't Play Games!
• I'm sooooooo guilty of this. The revolving door. I'm done. Then I'm not. Then I'm done. Then I want you to come have cookies and ice cream with me. Don't do this. If you cut someone off, leave them cut off. It's confusing to you and it's unfair to them to keep going back and forth. if you're not sure what you want to do, just take some time and BE HONEST!! Let the person know where your head is at, your reasoning, and let them know that you're in the process of making a decision. Give yourself a seven day timeline to sort our your feelings and really sort them out. Within those seven says has this person made you more happy or sad? What do they bring to your life? What would life be like without them? Better? Worse? Then make the decision and stick with it!
• Don't reminisce. 
• You guys were together. You had great times. There were great memories shared. But there is also a reason why you guys separated and you are not together. Remember that. If something happened that forced you to leave this person, it must have been pretty messed up. Or you just reached the point where you couldn't handle the crap anymore. Do not sit and beat yourself up for letting go of a person that didn't meet your standards. The few good times you shared do not make up for all the other mess and/or drama that you guys went through. Stop taking strolls down memory lane. It's not conducive to anything at all.
• Find a hobby.
• Get your mind off of it. Read. Write. Knit. Pick up running. Reconnect with friends. Get a second job. Something! You're going to need something to distract your mind and stop you from thinking about the person. Plus, you're doing something that you enjoy. Getting back to being you. What did you do before you met the person? Figure that out and go for it. You'll feel a lot better about yourself too. It's science. Look it up.
• Realize there are going to be things unsaid.
• I think this is the hardest part of letting go. Waking up a few days after you've cut someone off and having something else to say. You just want to grab your phone and text them everything you just thought about and see their response. For these times, you're going to need a journal. Friends are good too. Or you can write a letter, read it aloud, and throw it out. Or file it away (I have an entire notebook of notes to exes). There are going to be things that you forget to say to that person or unreconciled feelings that you are going to have. This is the moment when you're going to need to pull out that self control and accept that fact that it's done and move on. Take a second, deal with the emotions, and keep on going. You got another day to live, do something great with it.