Okay Ladies, strap on those seat belts because I'm about to take you for a wild ride. This is one of those posts where I need you to be unbiased and listen to what I have to say because it might change your relationship life. Ready? Here goes.

I saw a post on Instagram the other day that basically said that if you're not looking to get married to the person you're with, what's the point of the relationship. We should date to marry, and any other type of dating is just pointless. This article even claims that if you aren't ready to get married you should be dating. I was like - wait what? The sole purpose of being in a relationship is to get married? Where the hell have I been all this time because I definitely missed that memo. And furthermore, I made sure to double check that I still had my heat suit so that when I die, I will not be totally consumed by the flames of hell, because according all of the loving, non-judgmental, religious fanatics of the word, this is surely where I am going to end up. 

The claim is that the entire purpose of dating is to seek a husband. There should be no dating around because it serves no purpose. You know what this makes me think of? The Duggars. You know, the people from 19 Kids and Counting? I mean, their kids are getting married left and right. I swear it's like an assembly line. You're married? Next. You're married? Next in line please. I mean, sheesh, what's the rush? But even these kids court aka date before they actually get married. Check out an article on how they pick "courtship chaperones" here. But the point is, that they're dating before they actually say I do. Now I'm not sure if the guys that we see them marrying are the only guys that have gotten the chance to court them, and that's not made clear. But they are at least getting to know their potential mate to determine if this is the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. I respect it.

Me being the heathen I am, I've never dated anyone just to make them my husband. To be honest with you, most of my relationships were booty calls that progressed into something more. Hence why they were filled with so much drama and foolery. But I digress. We're young. Dating is supposed to be fun. We're supposed to be out there making stupid mistakes like drinking too much on a Sunday night or having irresponsible sex with the guy with no job. Hell, even if you're waiting until marriage to get busy, you should still be out there dating and getting to know people in order to get to know yourself. Even if you make it clear that sex isn't on your agenda, you can still have fun at social events without the pressure of trying to walk out with a onslaught of potential life partners. It's just too damn much.

But here's my bigger issue. What the hell are we teaching our daughters by telling them this? We're teaching our girls that we should seek to settle down with all of the men that we date. So if that's the case, what is the point of breaking up? What do we tell our daughters when she's crying on our shoulder because some douche broke her heart? Do we encourage her to try harder next time to get him to put a ring on it? Do we tell her to be more careful who she chooses next time because she only has but so many men she can go through before she finds the one? My mother always told me, screw him and move on. There are other fish in the sea. I just had to go fishing again and reel one in. I like that advice better. Keep fishing. Throw back the ones you don't want. And when you find a fish you really like, go home and and put it in a locked fish tank and take care of it. Just kidding. (Not really.)

I'm not saying that it's not okay to dream. We all think about what it would be like to be a wife and bear children. And the guy we happen to be with at the time is always the one that we envision this life with. We scribble names all over our notebooks and see what our name would sound like with their last name added at the end. We're all guilty of this, even if you don't want to admit it. It's not okay to rush into settling down with someone or jump into such a serious relationship with a person just because he's there. It just doesn't make any sense.

You don't have to marry your high school sweet heart. You don't have to settle down with the great guy from college just  because he graduated and makes six figures (hell, that would be nice though!). This is not the old school where we all have to be married by 18 and done bearing children by 30. Most of us are panicking because we're in our twenties and we still don't know what the hell is going in our lives, or how to fix it. College and establishing careers has pushed back our timeline for starting families and settling down. So why not use this time to really get out there and test the waters. Again, even if you're not giving up the goods until he says I Do, it's okay to date. How are you supposed to meet your future husband if you don't put yourself out there? Hello? Use your brain.

Take your time and get to know the guys you're going out with. They'll teach you so much and get you ready for the guy you're actually supposed to be with. How are you supposed to know that a guy who leaves the seat up is a no go for you? Or that you can't stand a guy who's late to pick you up? Or that you like when he holds your hand when you walk through the mall? You're most likely going to have to find a guy that does most of the things you like and teach him how to do the things he doesn't know how to do already. And the same goes for you. He's probably going to teach you a few things that make him happy. And if you guys do all this and find that you really love each other and want to be together, go for it. Is this guy going to be the first guy you ever date? Probably not.

Disclaimer: Is it possible to have a successful and happy marriage with the first and only guy you date. Hell yes! But this is the exception, not the rule. Most of us are so fickle and change so much, we don't even have the same feelings for the guy we broke up with last year, let alone the cutie in high school. Each situation is different. But what remains the same throughout them all is that people stay true to them, follow their hearts, and disregard rules and norms. You know what I'm going to say: Just do what makes you happy.

**One More Thing: I couldn't find any articles/videos to support my point of view. If you find any, feel free to comment the links below. Much appreciated!** =)