Being that I attend a mixed race school, I encounter all types of social norms practiced by all kinds of people. One thing that has really been standing out to me is the idea of femininity and what is means to be feminine and ladylike. I see girls on campus that wear skirts and heels all the time, seeking to overtly express the fact that they are females and use these "feminine" qualities to attract the opposite sex. Most of these girls are soft-spoken, sweet, kind, and innocently flirty. Simply put, they're sugary sweet. They're the exact image that comes to mind when you think about the kind of girl that most guys want to settle down with or marry. Let's call this girl "Leidi."However, on this same campus, I see the aggressive girls. They're loud! They're not any less "feminine" than Leidi when it comes to their appearance, but their attitude is just way different. There's an air of authority about this girl. She commands your attention, almost to the point if being intimidating or threatening. She likes to look pretty, but she takes on her own style, whether it be "urban", bohemian, high fashion, or a combination of all of these things (eclectic). She's a Lady, without conforming to the traditional definition of the word. Let's call this lady "Love."
So some of you see the clear racial differences between these two women. On campus, more white women are like Leidi, more Black women are like Love. (Anybody outside of these norms are often dumped into the hippie or sloppy category and seen as unfeminine because of seemingly lax attitude toward their appearance). So after seeing all this, I decided to find a few articles that dealt with the ideological differences between Black and White women when it came to the idea of Womanhood.
The best article basically deals with the fact that Black women love to look like women, but feel they need to be strong and take on roles that re not typically defines as feminine or womanly. I'm sure many of you have seen this in your lives. The women who pack the hair salons and nail salons, especially on Friday and/or payday. It seems every Black woman is constantly getting her "hair and nails done." Black women consume labels not only as a sign of social status, but as a way to show how feminine they are. Gucci flip flops. Michael Kors heels. Michele watches. Swarovski jewelry. And the infamous Coach Bag. It's in every Black neighborhood, even those that are at the bottom when it comes to economic status.
Yet, no matter how feminine these labels are intended to make Black women, we still feel the need to be strong and dominant, something that is not so feminine. Songs like Independent Women (Destiny's Child), Miss Independent (Ne-Yo), Independent (Webbie), She Got Her Own (Ne-Yo & Jamie Foxx), and that new Fancy (Drake, TI, & Swizz Beats) song encompass this idea extremely well. They all talk about the fact that Black women take pride in buying their own things, taking care of themselves and not needing a man for anything. Traditional feminine ideology? I think not.
So what does this all boil down to? Black women love to look feminine with their processed hair and/or nails. However, we often do not take on the traditional attitudes that come with that look. So what does that mean for Black Men who are looking for women to fit their American dream. Could this be the reason why many men of all races love to look at and sexually exploit Black women who they consider traditionally "beautiful" but seek women of other races to marry and co-habitate with?
My answer is, who the heck knows? But I do know one thing. There is no way that Black women, or any modern woman of any race, will be able to fit the traditional gender roles that have been assigned to use over time. So either the world has to change the type of woman their looking for or prepare for a rude awakening.
Picture Credit - Accessed 14 September 2010
